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Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Key to Destiny

Destiny is a confusing concept. Some say it can be changed, and some say the change one makes is part of a bigger blueprint. But I believe that one's destiny is influenced by her characters. Her characters will dominate the direction of her life decisions, and thus drives her to her destiny. With this train of logic, I realized that there is a way to change one's destiny, and that is by changing her characters, trading the bad ones with the good ones.

But change is never easy. I, for one, refused to change. I believed that love means accepting all of another's strength and weakness, therefore I must be loved completely by the one that is destined for me. I was stubborn, igorant to my own flaws, and was banking on the love from others. Only now I realize what others had been trying to tell me. I am not changing myself, I am re-inventing myself to a better version. And I know, o how I know, that problems are more than often rooted from within, and I am so good at blaming others.

Still destiny has favored me. She gave me keys to unlock others' destiny, but the true subject of this project has always been me. I now hold the keys to my own destiny, and that is a very powerful thing. I hope to pass this empowerment to you, but you must walk your own path. I can merely offer my discovery with you, my dear friends and love ones. So take a deep look within, because the key has always been there for you to seize. I love you.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

或者, 愛情原本就是脆弱的, 我可以做的, 也不過是竭力維護它. 只是...過份呵護變成縱容, 充其量稱其溺愛, 而非真愛.
或者, 人是犯賤的; 越難以觸摸的, 越教人陶醉...天山雪蓮採過以後, 即淪為藥食...卿本佳人, 何苦為凌? 狡兔尚有三窟, 靈狐豈能有一穴...

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

The Magic of 7

And so it's been 7 months.
Monthly celebration is never my thing. I don't believe in marking the day. But it represents the effort and considerations we constantly embedded into the relationship, and I am damn proud to flaunt them. In the past month we had our first fight, our first unbearable frustration, our first "maybe we should just break up." It wasn't fun. No, not at all. But I know it is needed for the two of us to move forward. Often time we bury our true feelings so deep inside, that nothing would be able to get them out except, fights and arguements. Keep in mind that arguement is not an excuse to give up, it is a sign of desparation for communication. The most important part is, we made it thru and agreed to make it work. Change does not happen overnight. It would only become noticible after an intergration of microscopic accumulation. Great rewards only come to those who patiently waited...and I know I am rewarded everyday for the opportunity to be with James.
A long and winding road is ahead of us, but I promise I will make it a fun ride as long as we stick together. So much love my darling, so much love

Monday, 04 May 2009

Ghost of the past

Everyone has a past. May it be a past that we are not proud of, may it be a past that we wish we could have done better, may it be a past that we want to erase for once and for all...But alas, history is set for us. As we embrace one and other, we must also embrace the baggage that they carry along, and make light of it.
Yet curiosity nibbles within me. It tempts me to accidently stumble upon pages of history, memorabilia in life. Questions after questions, ponders beyond ponders, I seek to fulfill the probability of wrong doings, past or present. As if a demon took over my body and acts on its evilness own, and I, helplessly watches it satisfying my darkest desire. Perhaps my insecurity will never be tamed. Perhaps the rotten truth of my parents' fail marriage makes it inevitable for me to distrust love.
And I know, I am lying. I saved face by saying I am ready, but I know I will never be ready. I may look strong, I may behave strong, but I am weak. I am weak in front of love, I am weak in front of temptation, I am weak in front of truth. And I let the darkness consumes me. I let fear overtakes me. But I also know, life is about overcoming. Without baggages, I would never come across a person who is willing to share my burden and showing me his. In this chaotic universe, disarray is a given. But wouldn't it be such thrill to know that I conquered disorder? Everything has a pattern; everything. Even disorder. So fear not, my love. The past is merely a pattern of life for us to observe and diagnose, and thus improve. With your hands in mine, we weave new patterns that has never been seen before, and possibilities that will astound all. There is always tomorrow...

Tuesday, 28 April 2009

November Rain Guns N' Roses

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one